Newborn Reflexes

Newborn Reflexes

Newborns depend on their primitive reflexes for survival. Absence or extended duration of these reflexes could indicate a problem with the baby's central nervous system. Just after birth, the newborn will be assessed for the following reflexes:

Rooting Reflex - when a finger or nipple is placed into the baby's mouth, the baby begins to suck. Also, if you lightly stroke the cheek, the newborn will turn towards the stroking and open her mouth to accept the nipple. This reflex usually lasts for up to seven months.

Palmar and Plantar Grasp Reflexes - the baby will grasp an object placed in his hands or curl his toes around fingers placed near his toes. The palmar reflex usually lasts three to four months and the plantar can last up to a year.

Moro's Reflex - this startle reflex appears with a sudden loud noise or any intense stimulation. The arms and legs extend and the fingers fan outward, with the thumb and forefinger forming a C-shape. This reflex usually disappears within three to four months.


Doll's Eye Reflex - as with a doll's eyes, when a baby is lying on her back, if you turn her head from side to side, her eyes remain fixed. This reflex lasts up to two months of age.

Babinski's Reflex - the baby's toes will hyper extend when the bottom of his foot is stroked upward from the sole to the ball of his foot. This reflex disappears within a year.

Stepping Reflex - when the newborn is held upright with the feet on a flat surface, the baby will make stepping motions. This reflex diminishes by the forth month and does not return until the baby begins to stand and walk.

Bauer's Reflex - when pressure is applied to the soles of the feet of a newborn lying face-down, the baby will making crawling movements. This disappears by six weeks of age and returns when the baby is learning to crawl.

Tonic Neck Reflex - the baby appears like a "fencer" when lying flat on her back and facing to the side. Whichever direction her face is turned, that arm will extend and the other will be flexed. Babies may sleep in this position for a couple of years; however, an awake baby should not display this reflex beyond four months of age.

Traction Reflex - when a newborn is pulled up by the wrists to a sitting position, her head will first fall back, then lift upright and held before it falls forward onto the chest. This is a sign of maturity and muscle tone.

Arm Recoil - the baby's arms will flex rapidly after extending them.

Tea During Pregnancy

Herbal Tea During Pregnancy

With all of the warnings about consuming caffeinated drinks during pregnancy, many moms-to-be are hesitant to drink their favorite tea. But is drinking tea during pregnancy safe? And if so, what types of tea are safe?

Drinking herbal teas during pregnancy is certainly a wise choice when compared with caffeinated beverages.   Caffeinated drinks may have a diuretic effect, reducing nutrient absorption and deplete the adrenal glands.  Herbal teas hydrate, provide nutrients and feed the body during pregnancy. Some are also packed with antioxidants and vitamin C which helps lower your anxiety and stress levels. Various types of herbal teas can also reduce morning sickness symptoms and even prepare the uterus for labor.

1. Ginger Tea 

Eases nausea aids the digestion process and relieves stomach issues . Add four or five slices of fresh ginger root to a cup of freshly boiled water and drink a maximum of three cups daily

2. Nettle Tea

Provides high levels of iron, magnesium and calcium and is described as a nutritive tea to sip while pregnant. Stick to one or two cups a day.

3. Raspberry Leaf Tea

A favorite of midwives, this tea prepares the uterus for labor and helps prevents post-partum hemorrhage. It's high in calcium and magnesium and is safe to drink from the second trimester onwards. 

4. Dandelion Leaf Tea

 Dandelion tea can be supportive in late pregnancy when fluid retention is an issue.  It is high in potassium and is a gentle but effective diuretic. Add dandelion leaf to another tea as it has a slightly bitter, grassy taste.

5. Peppermint Tea

Peppermint tea is great for relaxing your stomach muscles to help settle an upset stomach as well as the nausea and vomiting common in early pregnancy.

6. Rooibos Tea

Rooibos tea is highly recommended in pregnancy. It is caffeine free, contains calcium, magnesium and loads of antioxidants. It also has positive effects on digestion and can ease colic and reflux. Children can also drink Rooibos, and it is lovely with milk and a little honey.

Teas To Avoid During Pregnancy

Caffeine consumption during pregnancy (particularly over has 200mg) has been directly linked with reduced birth weights.  While this research is by no means exhaustive, it does illustrate the importance of keeping an eye on your caffeine consumption during pregnancy. For this reason, teas that are particularly high in caffeine should be restricted while you are pregnant.

These teas include:

• Black
• Green
• Oolong
• LiChee
• Hong mao
• Earl grey
• Darjeeling

Other common teas and herbs to avoid during pregnancy include (but not limited to):

• St John’s Wort
• Don Quai
• Ginseng
• Yarrow
• Penny Royal
• Ephedra
• Licorice Root

Always speak to your midwife or herbalist if you have any concerns about which teas are safe to drink during pregnancy.

Suggestions and advice are not intended to replace advice from a qualified professional.

Poetry on Motherhood: With Child

With Child

 by Genevieve Taggard

Now I am slow and placid, fond of sun,
Like a sleek beast, or a worn one:
No slim and languid girl – not glad
With the windy trip I once had,
But velvet-footed, musing of my own,
Torpid, mellow, stupid as a stone.

You cleft me with your beauty's pulse, and now
Your pulse has taken body. Care not how
The old grace goes, how heavy I am grown,
Big with this loneliness, how you alone
Ponder our love. Touch my feet and feel
How earth tingles, teeming at my heel!
Earth's urge, not mine, – my little death, not hers;
And the pure beauty yearns and stirs.

It does not heed our ecstacies, it turns
With secrets of its own, its own concerns,
Toward a windy world of its own, toward stark
And solitary places. In the dark
Defiant even now; it tugs and moans
To be untangled from these mother's bones. 

- See more at: http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/23800#sthash.Uj2hNeYD.dpuf

Skin to Skin Contact: The Right Start

Being skin to skin with your baby after birth has many benefits on your health and baby's health including:

• Baby is warmer. Your skin is a radiant warmer and will help regulate your baby's body temperature. Simply lay baby on your skin, abdomen or chest, dry the baby off while there and put warm blankets over you and baby.

• Baby breathes more normally. Babies who are skin to skin with mom after birth breathe more easily and more rhythmically.

• Baby cries less. The comfort of being with mom leads to babies who cry less after the initial cries at birth.

• More breast milk. When babies are skin to skin after birth, they are more likely to nurse and nurse sooner and longer. This can lead to a better breast milk supply.

• Baby can her your heart beat. After nine long months of hearing your heart beat, your baby feels comforted by hearing the heart beat he or she has grown with.

• Baby is more likely to have a normal heart rate. All of these add up to a baby who is more stable.

Skin to skin with baby is good for all types of births, assuming your baby is stable.   Often even after a cesarean birth mom can hold baby skin to skin ; or dad can perform this important role if mom is not available.  There are a multitude of studies that show that mothers and babies should be together, skin to skin (baby naked, not wrapped in a blanket), immediately after birth, as well as throughout the fourth trimester. 

We know that this is true not only for the baby born at term and in good health, but even for the premature baby. Skin to skin contact and Kangaroo Mother Care can contribute much to the care of the premature baby. Even babies on oxygen can be cared for skin to skin, and this helps reduce their needs for oxygen, and keeps them more stable in other ways as well.

From the point of view of breastfeeding, babies who are kept skin to skin with the mother immediately after birth for at least an hour, are more likely to latch on without help and are more likely to latch on well, especially if the mother did not receive medication during the labor or birth. 

There is no reason that the vast majority of babies cannot be skin to skin with the mother immediately after birth for at least an hour. Hospital routines, such as weighing the baby, should not take precedence.

The baby should be dried off and placed on the mother. Nobody should be pushing the baby to do anything; nobody should be trying to help the baby latch on during this time. The mother and baby should be left to enjoy each other’s company. (The mother and baby should not be left alone, however, especially if the mother has received medication, and it is important that not only the mother’s partner, but also a nurse, midwife, doula or physician stay with them—occasionally, some babies do need medical help and someone qualified should be there “just in case”). If the optional eyedrops and the injection of vitamin K are being administered, they can wait a couple of hours.

Studies have shown that even premature babies, as small as 1200 g (2 lb 10 oz) are more stable metabolically (including the level of their blood sugars) and breathe better if they are skin to skin immediately after birth. The need for an intravenous infusion, oxygen therapy or a nasogastric tube, for example, or all the preceding, does not preclude skin to skin contact. Skin to skin contact is quite compatible with other measures taken to keep the baby healthy. Of course, if the baby is quite sick, the baby’s health must not be compromised, but any premature baby who is not suffering from respiratory distress syndrome can be skin to skin with the mother immediately after birth. Indeed, in the premature baby, as in the full term baby, skin to skin contact may decrease rapid breathing into the normal range.

Planned Birth Support by Harmony at Home

Caring for your newborn after a cesarean presents many different challenges. Feel secure, prepared and nurtured with the support of Harmony at Home. Whether a planned or unplanned C-Section, we will determine your individual needs and goals for successful healing. We'll provide the comprehensive support you and your baby need to safely make the transition from pregnancy to family.



​Harmony at Home offers hourly and overnight C-Section Support. Services may include:​
​

• PreNatal Visit and Planning Session
• Immediate Postpartum Support, Hospital to Home
• Overnight Care
• Incision Care
• Breastfeeding and BabyWearing for the C-Section mom
• Basic Newborn Care
• Meal Preparation, Grocery and Menu Planning
• Light House Cleaning and Errands
• Infant Massage Instruction
• Pet Care
• Dad Support
• Care to 6 weeks Postpartum

Here's how our program works~

*Free consult, if you would like we will meet with you for coffee (or tea!) so we can get to know each other in person.

*One Home Visit at 38 weeks to "fluff your nest!" We plan and prepare for you to have a smooth transition home, with everything you need all in place. 

*Post Natal support the day of the planned birth. We will be there to facilitate the natural bonding process from lots of skin-to-skin to back-to-basics breast feeding support so you are set up to succeed from the very beginning.

*24 hour Hospital visit for continued breastfeeding support and troubleshooting.

*First Postpartum visit the day you travel home. With your pillows just right, and fresh food and water on your night stand, it's straight to bed with your sweet new baby. We will leave you feeling confident in your ability to rest, recover and nourish your newborn now that you're home.

*Photography & Birth Announcements, Belly Casting and Infant Massage Instruction are all available upon request.

*Daily to overnight Newborn Nurse & Doula services are tailored to meet the needs of the family and change over the course of the Postpartum period. Our goal is to gracefully step aside as your new family settle in.


References available upon request.
Newborn Nurse, PP Doula Insured.
Contact us now! Space is limited.

Breastfeeding Basics for New Families

During the first few days after your baby is born, breastfeeding can be daunting and confusing. Many new parents are haunted by questions of whether their baby is getting enough milk and "are we doing it right?" Successful breastfeeding relationships are establish in an atmosphere of trust, support and knowledgeable guidance.  Harmony at Home is here to help if you have any questions or problems.

Here are some of our basic guidelines to keep in mind for the first few weeks.

Whether or not baby is getting enough milk is one of the most common concerns of new moms. Since we don't have measurement markers on our breasts, we can't initially "see" that our babies are really getting the milk they need. You can tell baby is getting enough milk, however, by keeping track of dirty diapers, weight gain, and appearance.

Diapers Counting your baby's diapers can be a helpful indicator as to whether or not he is getting enough of your milk. baby's age mother's milk wet diapers/24 hrs dirty diapers/24 hrs 1-2 days colostrum (provides immunities and helps with jaundice) 1-2 greenish-black tarry meconium 2-6 days milk "comes in"; bluish color 5-6 wet disposable diapers (6-8 wet cloth diapers) At least 3 greenish transitional stools 6+ days milk supply adjusts to suit your baby's needs Same as 2-6 days At least 3-5 very loose stools; bright yellow color that are about 2.5 cm 6 weeks milk supply established Same as 2-6 days Some babies switch to less frequent but large bowel movements

Signs of poor feedings

• Feeling pain during feedings
• Sleepy baby
• Inconsistent, flutter (weak) sucking
• Difficulty latching-on and staying on
• Clicking or popping sounds in your baby’s mouth
• Prolonged nursing (more than 20-25 minutes on each side)
• Infrequent nursing (baby does not wake to feed at least every 3 hours)
• Frequent nursing (more than 12 per day)
• Baby is not satisfied at the end of the feeding
• Engorgement
• Inadequate wet diapers and stools
• Rapid or excessive weight loss (more than 7-10%) during the first few days
• Has not regained birth weight by 2 weeks
• Slow weight gain thereafter (less than 1/2 – 3/4 oz per day)

Signs of good feedings

• Feeling a deep, strong pulling sensation without sharp pain
• Consistent sucking with only brief pauses
• Hearing swallowing (after the milk comes in)
• Latch-on is easy
• 15-20 minutes of vigorous sucking per breast (20-30 minutes for one breast feedings)
• Breasts are softer after the feeding
• Seeing milk in your baby’s mouth
• Feeling a let-down reflex or seeing a change in the baby’s feeding rhythm
• Adequate wet diapers and stools
• Minimal weight loss during first few days
• Regain birth weight by 2 weeks and gains ¾ to 1 oz thereafter

Breastfeed Often

A baby needs to breastfeed frequently. Your milk is digested quickly and easily, sometimes in as little as 60 minutes, and small amounts are perfect for baby's tiny stomach. These frequent feedings also help to establish your milk supply. In simple terms, the more milk that is removed from your breasts, the more milk your body will produce. Frequent feedings are good for both of you!  Keep in mind that some babies "cluster nurse," which means that they nurse very often for a few hours and then sleep for several hours. The number of feedings in a 24-hour period is more important than the spacing of feedings.  A sleepy baby may need to be wakened every two to three hours to feed, particularly if he has jaundice. Talk with your health care provider if baby is lethargic and difficult to wake for feedings.

Watch Baby, Not the Clock
Watch your baby for signs of hunger, not the clock. Follow baby's feeding cues and do not try to schedule feedings or limit feedings. Early hunger cues include:

Baby opening his mouth and moving his head side to side (known as the rooting reflex).
Baby making sucking motions with his mouth.
Baby begins to chew or suck on his hands or fingers.

Don't wait for your baby to cry to let you know he is hunger. Crying is a very late hunger cue.

Increasing Your Supply

Mothers throughout the ages have been able to produce plenty of milk for their babies. In certain situations because of a health problem or other complication, a mother may have a reason to be concerned and may need to carefully monitor her baby's weight gain in order to be sure he is getting enough milk. If baby is not gaining well or he is losing weight after the first few days, contact baby's health care provider. Slow weight gain may indicate a serious health problem. If you're concerned about your milk supply, get help. Being in touch with a Postpartum Doula, La Leche League Leader, or Lactation Consultant can often provide the information, support, and encouragement that mothers need to be reassured that they are providing plenty of milk for their babies. 

Steps that will help your baby get as much of your milk as possible include:

Nurse often for as long as your baby will nurse. The more milk that is removed from the breast, the more milk the breast will make to replace it. Frequent breastfeeding helps to establish a plentiful milk supply. A sleepy baby may need to be awakened and encouraged to nurse more frequently. A baby who nurses for excessively long periods may not be nursing efficiently.

Offer both breasts at each feeding. This will ensure that your baby gets all the milk available and that both breasts are stimulated frequently. Allow your baby to indicate he is finished on the first breast, then offer the other breast.

Check baby's positioning and latch. Breastfeeding should not hurt. Hold baby close with his whole body facing you so he does not have to turn his head. When he opens his mouth wide, his head should be slightly tilted back with his nose at the level of your nipple. As he approaches the breast with his head slightly tilted back, this will bring him to the breast chin first. This will help you better aim his lower jaw so that he covers more of your breast with his lower jaw than with his upper mouth. As you bring baby onto the breast, aim your nipple toward the roof of his mouth. If you feel comfortable and baby is nursing actively, the latch is good.

Try breast compression to keep your baby interested in breastfeeding. Squeeze the breast firmly with your thumb on one side and fingers on the other to increase milk flow. Keep squeezing until baby is no longer actively sucking, then release. Rotate fingers around the breast and squeeze again. Then switch to the other breast, using both breasts twice at each feeding. Squeeze firmly but be careful not to cause injury to your breast tissue.

Feed your baby only your milk. If your baby has been receiving formula supplements, do not cut these out abruptly. As you improve your breastfeeding techniques with the help of a lactation professional, and as your milk supply increases, you will be able to gradually reduce the amount of supplement. Monitor baby's weight gain and stay in touch with your baby's health care provider during this transition.

All your baby's sucking should be at the breast. If some supplement is necessary, it can be given by spoon, cup, or with a nursing supplementer. Be aware that a pacifier can create more problems than it solves. If you decide to give your baby a pacifier, wait until he is nursing effectively and gaining well.

Use skin-to-skin contact. It may encourage your baby to nurse more often. Skin-to-skin means that baby will be nestled upright between your breasts, clad only in his diaper directly against your skin. Your warmth, smell, and heartbeat will also soothe baby, which in turn aids in his development.

Try to relax. Paying attention to your need for rest, relaxation, and proper diet will help your milk supply and improve your general sense of well-being.

Talk to your health care provider about diet, medicinal herbs or prescription medications to increase your milk supply.



If you have concerns...

Some mothers think their babies are not getting enough milk when they are actually getting plenty of milk. Some "false alarms" that worry mothers include:

Your breasts feel different. If your breasts suddenly feel softer or your breasts no longer leak between feedings, it does not mean that you are producing less milk; it simply means that your supply has adjusted to your baby's needs.

Baby seems fussy. Many babies have a fussy time every day that is not related to hunger. Some babies need lots of stimulation and activity; others need soothing. You will learn how to respond to your baby as you find the ways that comfort him. If your fussy baby settles down when you offer him the breast, go ahead and breastfeed. But don't take this as a sign that he is not getting enough to eat.

Baby suddenly wants to feed more often, or seems hungry again soon after being fed. Babies often go through "growth spurts" when they are two to three weeks old and again at six weeks and three months. At these times, breastfeed as often as possible as your supply catches up with baby's demand.

Baby decreases his nursing time, perhaps down to five minutes or so at each breast. As babies get older, they become very efficient at taking the milk so this is a positive sign that breastfeeding is going well, not something to worry about.

La Leche League Leaders are accredited volunteers who are available to help with breastfeeding questions in person, over the phone, or online. Locate an LLL Leader near you at www.llli.org.

Please be aware that the information provided is intended solely for general educational and informational purposes only. It is neither intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. Always seek the advice of your physician for any questions you may have regarding your or your infant’s medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have received in this information.

Breast Milk Storage 101 - Safe handling of human milk

Breast milk handling and storage can be confusing. Follow these practical guidelines for safe handling of your expressed milk.

What kind of container should I use to store expressed breast milk?

Before expressing or handling breast milk, wash your hands with soap and water. 

Store expressed milk in a clean, capped glass or hard plastic container (long term storage).

You can also use special plastic bags designed for milk collection and storage. Keep in mind that breast milk storage bags aren't recommended for long-term storage; certain components of breast milk might adhere to the soft plastic bags during long-term breast milk storage, which could deprive your baby of essential nutrients.

Don't store breast milk in disposable bottle liners or plastic bags designed for general household use.


What's the best way to store expressed breast milk?

Using waterproof labels and ink, label each container with the date you expressed the breast milk. If you're storing expressed milk at your baby's child care facility, add your baby's name to the label. 

Place the containers in the back of the refrigerator or freezer, where the temperature is the coolest. If you don't have access to a refrigerator or freezer, store the milk in a cooler or insulated bag until you can transfer the milk to the refrigerator or freezer.

To minimize waste, fill individual containers with the amount of milk your baby will need for one feeding. You might start with 2 to 4 ounces, and then adjust as needed as your baby grows. Also consider storing some smaller portions — 1 to 2 ounces — for unexpected situations or delays in regular feedings. 

Breast milk expands as it freezes, so don't fill containers to the brim.


Can I add freshly expressed breast milk to already stored milk?

You can add freshly expressed breast milk to refrigerated or frozen milk you expressed earlier in the same day. Be sure to thoroughly cool the freshly expressed breast milk in the refrigerator or a cooler with ice packs before adding it to previously chilled or frozen milk. 

Don't add warm breast milk to frozen breast milk because it will cause the frozen milk to partially thaw.

Keep milk expressed on different days in separate containers.

How long does expressed breast milk keep?

In general, we recommend following the "rule of four's" for breast milk storage.  4 hours, 4 days, 4 weeks, 4 months.

Room temperature. Freshly expressed breast milk can be kept at room temperature for up to 3-4 hours. If you won't use the milk that quickly or the room is especially warm, transfer the milk to an insulated cooler, refrigerator or freezer.

Insulated cooler. Freshly expressed breast milk can be stored in an insulated cooler with ice packs for up to one day. Then use the milk or transfer the containers to the refrigerator or freezer.

Refrigerator. Freshly expressed breast milk can be stored in the back of the refrigerator — not the door — for up to 4-7  days.

Freezer. Freshly expressed breast milk can be stored in a standard refrigerator freezer for up to 3-4 weeks and in a chest/deep freezer for up to 4-6 months. Place the milk in the back of the freezer — not the door.

Keep in mind that storage guidelines might differ for preterm, sick or hospitalized infants.


How do I thaw frozen breast milk?

Thaw the oldest milk first. 

Place the frozen container in the refrigerator the night before you intend to use it. 

You can also gently warm the milk by placing it under warm running water or in a bowl of warm water. 

Before offering the milk to your baby, gently swirl it to evenly distribute the creamy portion of the milk that rises to the top of the container during storage. Don't vigorously shake the container or stir the milk.

Never thaw frozen breast milk at room temperature, which enables bacteria to multiply in the milk. 

Don't heat a frozen bottle in the microwave or very quickly on the stove. Some parts of the milk might be too hot, and others too cold. Some research suggests that rapid heating can affect the milk's antibodies as well.

Use thawed breast milk within 24 hours. Discard any remaining milk. Don't refreeze thawed or partially thawed breast milk.

Does thawed breast milk smell or look different from fresh breast milk?

The color and consistency of your breast milk might vary, depending on your diet. Also, thawed breast milk might appear different than freshly expressed milk. It's still safe to feed to your baby. If your baby refuses the thawed milk, it might help to shorten the storage time.

HAH Birth Story: Welcoming the Water Nymph

I think that everyone has a certain moment in time that is the destiny they have waited their lives to reach. For some, it's an Olympic dream, a goal, a particular destination - some tangible event that they have set their sights on and they work diligently to attain. Although I did not know it in advance, birthing my girl was that moment for me.

My entire life I knew that mothering would be my primary purpose. As a young girl I would stuff pillows under my shirt, bemoaning the burdens of pregnancy. As a teenager, I wore handmade maternity clothes and I could feel that beautiful, yet still elusive, round belly that I carried with my heart. When my friends hung images of rock idols Like Curt Cobain and Bono in their lockers, I had a cut out from a natural health magazine of a lovely goddess pregnant woman, adorn in flowing silk in a field of wildflowers. I waited patiently through my formative years for the day I too would carry a life inside my body.

My first two pregnancies were indeed planted by fate, but still I was waiting. Waiting unknowingly and still wandering patiently. My logical mind warned me that my family was complete. Babies cost money and time and energy. I was sure another child would overdraft me on all accounts. So when I realized I was pregnant with my third child, my heart skipped a beat. It didn't quite sink, but simply fluttered about with doubt and disbelief. How could I possibly create and care for yet another person? My husband threw up the moment he found out and although he did not know it, and probably didn't even mean it, his confidence and conviction that followed gave me strength to be courageous.

My pregnancy was taxing to say the least. Not physically, as I seem to be given a gift to carry my babies with the grace of the mother goddess herself. But emotionally I carried a burden that I was certain would crush my child and I together until there was nothing left but a few glowing embers and 2 forgotten souls. Still, everyday I woke up and every day that life inside of me prompted me to just keep going. Just keep moving forward, just keep breathing, just keep walking, and I promise you mama, we'll make it together. And I listened. Silent and sullen, still I carried on.

The "holiday season" which for us begins in September, approached and tasks of celebration occupied my mind. Pregnant and tired to my core I had to continue providing jubilant comforts to my two boys. I inhaled and breathed out birthday wishes. I threw together Halloween costumes, I roasted the turkey, I gave to the poor, I tended to family … and everyday I thanked God for the inspiration inside of me. Christmas grew closer and so did my due date. Although technically I was not "due" until January, everything told me to be ready as the year came to its close. My boys were born early and this baby would be as well. People warned me not to get my hopes up - I could go overdue. I sheepishly replied that I would be happy to get to the New Year. Inside I begged my baby to wait until after Santa came.

Around the solstice I felt my body getting ready. Contractions would interrupt my day and I would frantically wrap presents between them. Irrational I know, but I did not want my boys first memories of their sibling to be the one where he/she stole the glory of childhood Christmas magic. And it wasn't. We celebrated that holy Sunday with the usual extravagance as the typical bombardment of retail splendor was rained upon them. Not by me or Kris Kringle, of course - the kids know we are both far too frugal to engage in that insanity. But so are the woes of two small boys cursed with the fate of being the FIRST. The first children, the first grandchildren, the first nephews … the first and most important all around. Yes, Christmas past and I spent the next few days wading through the aftermath and cursing myself for my delay. Now how in the world would I ever get the house back in order enough to give birth?!

But each day passed and each contraction prompted me slowly to fluff up the fillers in my nest. My bathroom was, for all intents and purposes, immaculate! A simple victory in the grand scheme of things, but important none the less.

Wednesday night was my husband's last show of the season and a milestone we needed to surpass. So on that evening when the contractions started piling on top of one another, I sat back and drank a few sips of wine. When I tried to reach him on his cell phone but couldn't, I firmly told this baby to wait a little longer. Many things I may have thought of that man over the years, but in my heart I knew that birthing without him was simply not an option.  I went to bed and woke with the sun a little bit surprised that the baby listened.

Thursday morning I traveled to Kate's for what would be my last prenatal visit. I told her and Merle of all the activity and although excited and reassuring, they were slightly preoccupied. Another mom was in labor and so they already had an impending birth that day. Wait baby wait, just a little while longer. Such a good baby I had because it did listen. The day carried on without much excitement. I did some chores, checked and double checked my birth supplies, and I took an unusually long nap.

Around dinner time I started to feel some activity and haphazardly timed the contractions as I had for so many weeks before. 12 minutes … 10 minutes … 18 minutes … no big deal. So I continued with my obligations. I cooked, I did some laundry, I milled about. My husband stopped in to eat and I told him what was happening. He looked at me sideways with a half smile and asked "Is this it?" "It could be" I replied and continued with my business. The contractions had basically subsided and I assured him that it would be fine for him to continue the rest of the lessons he had scheduled for the evening.

I had one last project on my list of "things to do before baby comes". My friend Kristie in California had commissioned me to design a bag with the most wonderful Frida Khalo fabric. While he was gone I lovingly stitched the last seams and tied on the perfect beads for the zipper pull. At that, he walked in the door proclaiming his lessons cancelled (in fact he cancelled because he did not want to be away from me). I sat back, relaxed and proclaimed to myself, "I'm done. I finished everything. I can have a baby now."

Almost momentarily the contractions came back with more regularity. They did not hurt, not in the least, but they were building for certain. They skipped closer together with long breaks in between. I decided to call the midwives to give them a heads up. It was around 8:30 when I spoke to Merle. They were finishing up the birth of a baby boy and assured me they were ready if I needed them.

I decided to sit back in a bath and collect myself for the night ahead. I was relaxed and excited. The baby danced quietly in my belly and I relished that these would probably be the last moments we would have alone, together as one. My oldest son came home from an evening of ice skating with his uncle and was beaming from the possibilities. He didn't want to go to bed for fear that he might miss the birth. Dad assured him that we would wake him when the time came and tucked him in.

My indifference to the world at that time should have been a sure sign of things to come, but I was still caught up in the fact that this had gone on for weeks and could continue for some time to come. I got out of the tub and instead of reaching for a glorified patchwork dress that I painstakingly created (as I had envisioned myself birthing in), I pulled on a simple faded maternity dress that was comfortable and familiar. My husband buzzed about, asking me if I wanted him to steam clean the rugs and other such things. None of that really mattered anymore though. I had everything I needed. I was safe and warm and was ready for whatever the universe had to give me.

I called Tyler and assured her that things were slow and surely I would make it until morning when she got off of work. I was happy and patient. Kate called to check in around 11. They were home and ready to jump when I said go. I told her that although I was still having contractions, they were peaceful and I was going to sleep for a while. I crawled into bed and sunk into the comfort of my soft pillows. I snuggled up to my younger son and already began to apologize for the uneasiness I was about to unleash upon his little life. I fell asleep quickly and dreamed of trickling waterfalls and tall oak trees. The water nymph was knocking on the door to my heart and I silently, gracefully let her in.

Around 1 am I awoke to stronger and closer contractions. Still I felt no pain and into my mind came one simple verse … I WILL BIRTH IN PEACE … my mind sang and I held onto it as my mantra. I lit some candles and with each single flame I repeated it to myself reassuringly … I WILL BIRTH IN PEACE.

I called Kate and she quickly replied "Ok, we are on our way." I put on a cd and quietly swayed to the soft rhythms. My husband woke up and peered across the room. Little words needed to be spoken. He smiled brightly and told me he was going to try and catch just a little more sleep. The midwives arrived in the blink of an eye. It was a balmy night, not too bitterly cold with a hint of fog. I was thrilled to see them and felt protected, loved and secure. They set up their gear and chatted softly. They put on a pot of water to boil, which consequently set off the smoke alarm. Kate, being a woman of quick action, yanked it from the ceiling and continued with her business.

The waves began coming more quickly and soon I was breathing through each surge. I rocked on the birth ball and held tight to my mantra I WILL BIRTH IN PEACE. My husband came and rocked with me and held me as I surrendered in his strong knowing arms. We had done this before I assured myself, and surely we could make it through again, together. The contractions continued to rush over me and I made my way to the bathroom. I clung to the sink as one, two, three, four contractions slammed down on me. I felt doubt as I pondered the notion of continuing on for several more hours. It seemed that active labor had just begun. Surely birth could not be so close as to be able to reach out and touch it.

I stumbled back to the bedroom and dropped on my hands and knees as another one came. I rocked and moaned and with a burst my waters broke. In the light of the bathroom again I realized that it was dark and green and thick. I looked up at him with terror in my eyes. He tried to reassure me and I muttered "No. Meconium. Its not ok." At that Kate entered the room. She quickly, yet tenderly grabbed the Doppler and I felt such relief to hear the strong, solid blipblipblip of my baby's heartbeat. She reassured me that everything was ok and I remember specifically feeling such pride in her. How she had grown as a woman, a midwife and my friend since our last birth together 2 years earlier. Not an ounce of nervousness, not a single step missed. Kate went to scrub the green from the carpet and Merle came in to check on me. Unable to articulate, I simply nodded to the green. I was still scared and Merle gingerly looked into my eyes. "Is it ok?" I asked, almost not wanting to hear the answer. She smiled "yes. It's fine. The baby is right here. It's ok." and I believed her.

Kate stood up and announced, "If you son wants to be present for the birth we need to wake him NOW." and Dad went off to rouse him. I sat on the toilet and moaned and was afraid I might scare my little boy. He appeared in the doorway, half sleeping but glowing. I looked at him and gained courage from his certainty. His ear to ear grin was enough to know that I could do this.

Kate asked me to scoot forward off the toilet as the baby continued to descend. My husband came and sat behind me and held me up in a high squat. I leaned back into his might and surrendered. I WILL BIRTH IN PEACE. I yelled owowowowow and Kate took my hand. She locked eyes and gently commiserated. She affirmed my pain and it was nice to be acknowledged and supported. I felt the baby in the birth canal and pushed tentatively. The head emerged and I looked up to my oldest son, still beaming in the light. Everyone smiled as the baby turned to corkscrew its way down the passage. I pushed again, this time hard and strong. I pushed and out she slid, into loving hands.

I released my body back into dad's arms and he held me up as we all let out a collective sigh of joy. My baby was blue, but vibrant! Her cord was still short and Kate cradled her onto my belly. I gazed upon the round face and took the time to just relax and breathe. My son still stood proudly at the door, nearly bursting out if his skin. He grabbed the camera and took the first pictures of his new sibling.

Several minutes had passed and we didn't know if we had a boy baby or a girl baby, so my son came closer to make the announcement. Kate pulled back the blanket and much to my surprise … there was a YONI! Dad prompted son to check and he was excited to proclaim it was a girl. A BABY GIRL!

I made my way to the bed and pulled her close. She nuzzled at my breast but didn't latch on. She wasn't like her brothers in that regard. She was patient and gentle. I birthed the placenta and laid back with an energy buzzing through me. I had a girl baby! I watched her as she slowly made her transition to the earth side. She took her time and slowly unfolded her personality.

Everyone gathered around to examine her placenta home. Merle proudly held it up and Rachael came over to see it up close. It was brilliant and healthy. When the cord stopped pulsing, my son was ready to release her to the world. The cord was thick and rubbery and it took effort for his little hands to make the cut, yet he proudly proceeded. I laid with her by my side and soon she latched on tight for her first meal. I felt energetic and raw. This little tiny life was no longer mine, but all of ours. Before long I got up to shower and, petty as it may be, I felt ecstatic pride in my pearly clean bathroom! My bathtub! My home! My homebirth! A wondrous thing from such simple pleasures!

After I was cleaned up and cozy in my new flannel pjs, we came together once again to weigh her. A big girl she was - 8 lbs 1 oz. My tiny body had grown a healthy, hearty baby girl and birthed her without so much as a tiny tear. Everything was winding down and my younger son came stumbling into the room, blurry eyed and sleepy. He fell hopelessly into Rachael's arms (who was largely pregnant with her own baby girl) and looked up in confused horror when he realized it wasn't mama. Dad picked him up and carried him to me and we introduced him to his baby sister. He was disenchanted and unimpressed. He really just wanted to go back to bed. The midwives packed up and left as effortlessly as they had come. My family snuggled down together and went to sleep with smiles …

And so it was, the birth of my water nymph. A moment so simple and primitive, yet utterly complete. In that flash of time, that instance I had waited my entire life for, everything was perfect. My husband was with me holding me up. My first born son was smiling and full of love and admiration. My second born child was peaceful and serene. I was surrounded by a circle of loving, tender mother goddess women. I was strong and dazzling. And I had a daughter. A little girl to cherish and to teach all the wonders of the mother goddess ways. If only for that fleeting moment … I was whole … I was happy … I was blessed.

Write Your Birth Story!

  “Whenever and however you give birth, your experience will impact your emotions, your mind, your body, and your spirit for the rest of your life.”  Ina May Gaskin

As a woman who work with other women during all phases of the childbearing process, it becomes inevitable that I hear lots and lots of birth stories, from long time clients and stranger alike. Usually within 10 minutes of meeting me, most women who know my profession open up and start using words such as "vaginal" and "cervix" and bearing intimate details of the most intimate experience of their lives. And I don't even blink an eye. Why? Because words like that and situations like this have become quite commonplace in my world. And I love it. It is self evident through these experiences that women crave to be heard and understood on a deep and spiritual level. Motherhood as a whole has taught me that sharing stories is important and vital. I now realize that every mom has a story to tell, and if we allow a space for moms to tell their stories with openness and honesty, it greatly improves the outcome and circumstances for others.

Here’s the truth: Every. Single. Mother. on this big, glorious planet we share has a story. Some are serious. Some are embarrassing. Some are funny. Some are scary. Some are harmonious. Some are full of unpredictable twists and turns. Some went according to plan. Some were rude awakenings. But every woman has one. And every story matters.

And, here’s another truth: writing your story matters. Why? The act of putting your story into actual words can have a very therapeutic and cathartic effect on you. But, the benefits aren’t just for you. The following are reasons why you should write your birth story:

Write To Remember

Memories fade and especially so when sleepless nights and infant care are a part of your daily life. Taking the time to put your story into words as soon as possible will preserve details that your mind won’t recollect later. There's this funny thing that happens after we give birth: our minds selectively pick and choose details of the process to remember and usually its the smiles and the laughs and positive moments that stand out. I can almost promise, years from now, you won't remember the sensations of pain or the groans or the moans. (This is probably a self preservation mechanism to make sure we keep having babies!). Write it now. Write it soon. Write it before its gone.

Write To Educate

Every birth is different, but the more stories we hear, the more perspective we have and the more educated we are on what the possibilities of birth are. Tell your story not just for your own benefit, but for the benefit of others, so they can learn from your experience. I have come to realize just how important the stories we hear are, and how much impact and influence they can have over our lives. I’ve learned that if stories of c-sections are all a woman hears, she has a different perspective of birth than a woman who has been surrounded by women who believe in natural birth. Write to empower. Write to encourage. Write for diversity. Write so we can all understand each other better.

Write To Be A Gift

In writing our birth stories, these words are preserved for our children, their future spouse, our grandchildren and beyond. Maybe they'll appreciate it. Maybe they won't. Its there for them nonetheless. I know my children love to hear the accounts of when they were born. I think for most of us, hearing about how we entered the world gives us a sense of humanity, validation and grounding that is very palpable.

Write To Heal

Birth is a life-changing event in many ways. Regardless of how perfect or imperfect it was, reflecting on the experience gives you the ability to work through the events and emotions. Some will feel a great sense of empowerment from birth. Others will need time to work through negative emotions and memories of what happened. Writing a birth story allows a woman to organize her thoughts and gain a better perspective on her experience. It gives her the opportunity to release the story and heal.


So take a the time to write your birth story. Put away the inner critic, and write what comes out. It doesn’t have to be perfect. It just needs to be honest and real and uniquely yours.

A Baby Moon Survival Guide – How to Make the Most of Your Postpartum Period

Making the transition from pregnancy to family is a time of immense joy, but it also comes with change and uncertainty. From the time the positive line shows up on the test, many women spend their energy preparing for the birth process – which is great. But the delicate nature of the postpartum time is often overlooked. This can lead to many families feeling overwhelmed and unprepared. Taking the time to plan for a peaceful Baby Moon allows mama and baby the space and time to bond and heal. This creates the most positive and healthy start for budding families.

• Plan to stay in bed for 7–10 days after the birth; the longer you rest now, the sooner you will

recover. The rest of the world can wait! Overdoing it after birth can lead to increased postpartum depression and anxiety, infection, breastfeeding problems and more. The very best way we can care for of our newborns is to ensure we are caring for ourselves. As tempting as it maybe to jump right in and conquer the world, allowing yourself the space to heal is imperative.


• Be sure to get good nutrition, plenty of fluids and adequate rest (sleep when the baby sleeps).

• Arrange for lots of help: hire a postpartum doula or baby nurse, ask your mother, father, mother-in-law, sister, brother, or friends to pitch in. Allow yourself to be cared for while you and your partner attend to the baby.

• Identify and ask for the things you need. Most of the people surrounding you are eager and willing to help out, but they can't read your mind. Be open and honest. Accept the kindness of others. Now is not a time to be humble but rather gracious. (Remember, you can always pay it forward later.)

• Accept and express both positive and negative feelings. Emotions are the threads that make up the fabric of human existence. We all have a range of feelings, and our negative thoughts do not make us bad people. Expressing these feelings is important; its much easier to process them and release them when we are not afraid of them.

• Talk with your partner about the changes you are both going through. This is a journey you are traveling together.

• Ease into new routines—let the baby lead the way. Trying to force a newborn into an adult schedule from birth can be frustrating at best, and dangerous at worst. Allow your family ample time to grow and adjust to your new life together. There is no rush. You are all learning together. That takes time and patience.

• Keep expectations realistic: newborns “only” sleep, eat, and poop, but they do it every

hour; it takes more time and energy than most people realize.

• Take time for yourself: a warm bath, a nature walk, a good book, meditation, listening

to music, talking with a friend—whatever you find rejuvenating. The more you nurture yourself, the more of yourself you'll have available to care for your newborn.

• Give yourself credit; mothering is a difficult job, and it takes time to find your rhythm. Mindfully acknowledge the progress you make, the milestones you conquer, the little victories of everyday life. Ignore mommy war propaganda, follow your instinct and listen to your heart. No one knows your family and your baby better than you. Trust yourself.

• Hook up with both new and experienced parents for support, guidance, and feedback. Parenting groups, Baby and Me exercise classes and La Leche League are all good places to find other new moms with similar interests.

• Where possible, postpone other major life changes, like moving or changing jobs.

Why hire a Postpartum Doula?

“Postpartum Doulas are the best thing since … sliced bread, ice cream, velcro, you name it. They are the angels who sweep into your home when you’re bleary-eyed, sleep deprived and need someone to talk to when you’re home from the hospital trying to figure it all out.”

A Birth Doula is an important member of the support team during labor and birth, but do you know the value and benefits offered by Postpartum Doula services? Moms who use Postpartum Doulas insist they are more than worth the money.

A Postpartum Doula will provide non-medical support for educational, emotional and practical needs following childbirth or adoption, in your home. This professional (typically a woman) is a non-judgmental support person, and services can include the following as needed: care for mother’s postpartum body; assistance with breastfeeding; newborn care (diapering, bathing, etc); infant massage techniques; assistance with siblings; support for mother’s normal adjustment to the parenting process; running errands, meal planning, cooking and dishwashing; doing laundry, emptying trash and other light housework. The Postpartum Doula assists with transitions that accompany a newborn being welcomed into a family, and she works beside the family to foster confidence and knowledge during that special time. Each family must make informed decisions based on what works best for them, and the Postpartum Doula is there to support those family decisions in the process.

Here are some of the many important ways a Postpartum Doula can help:

1.  A Variety of Services

The role of a Postpartum Doula is multi-dimensional. She comes to your home and works where she is needed, according to your needs and the needs of your new family. Not only can she provide direct support for the new mom and family on topics such as breastfeeding, newborn care and babywearing, she can also tend to light housework, meal planning and other daily chores while the new parents get precious bonding time with their baby. She’s flexible and compassionate; she knows when to jump in and when to back away.

2. Mothering the New Mom

After a baby is born, the focus of everyone around often shifts to the baby, which can leave the new mom feeling lonely or unsupported. A Postpartum Doula can help "mother the new mom" by ensuring she is well fed and hydrated, and can be on hand to help fetch needed supplies or run interference if the new mom needs to rest.  She provides emotional support, a tender touch and a listening ear as a women navigates this completely new experience.  She can provide guidance when mom has questions or concerns about her ever changing body, offering insights about what is normal and to be expected.

"I honor birth stories, I shoulder anger, I dissolve guilt and fear. I do not judge and I do not try to do things my way. I teach, but I don’t give advice unless asked. I am a humble servant, I am a secret keeper, I am a baby burper. I am a mother to the mother."  Jen Rognerud

3.  Breastfeeding Support

If you don’t have a lactation consultant, having a Postpartum Doula in the early days can be extremely valuable. A Postpartum Doula knows basic information on breastfeeding, to guide mothers through the challenges. She also has referrals to other professionals who can help with problem solving beyond her practical knowledge.  It is important to get breastfeeding off to a good start just after the baby is born. It is important to address questions as early as possible, and the Postpartum Doula is there to support the family during this process. She can help with feeding charts if the pediatrician needs to see progress, as well as give instructions for nipple shields, positioning, latching and breast pumps.  She can also give nutritional suggestions to increase milk supply. She can help mother rest and have adequate time with her baby to not feel rushed.

4.  Emotional Support
Postpartum Doulas can serve as a sounding board for the new mother and can really help her work through her thoughts and feelings during the early weeks with a new little one. Statistics show that Postpartum Doulas help reduce the risk of postpartum depression.  When a mother feels supported, understood and cared for, it provides her the best opportunity to thrive in her new role.

5.  Overnight Care
Sleep.  Sweet, precious, glorious sleep. Unfortunately you can’t bank sleep and use it for when you really need it (wouldn’t that be nice!?) But the good news - you can have a Postpartum Doula step in when you really need it, and for a lot of people that is at night.  When parents are completely run down and overtired, the whole world seems more overwhelming.  A Postpartum Doula can provide night time care for baby to allow parents a full nights rest.


5.  Doulas and Extended Family Members

Do you need a Doula if you have lots of family nearby?  The answer probably depends on your family and the level of support and care they offer you.  Not everyone has a mother they can trust to come over, pitch in and help out—without the added commentary on how she’d do it differently if she were you. One of the things new parents most appreciate about Doulas is the complete lack of pretense; the Doula is there to help you and support you, not to change your views or parenting style and impose her own system of ethics. Because your Doula doesn’t have an emotional investment in the way you desire to parent your newborn, she is a help to the process, rather than a hurdle.

However, Doulas are not just for women with especially vocal mothers and mothers-in-law! Perhaps you would rather let mom do the fun grandma things like helping to entertain your visitors and taking care of older siblings, and then allow your Doula to handle the mundane chores and basic operations of a household. Doulas don’t usurp the role of family members in supporting a mother at this special time, rather they are advocates, making sure mom’s needs get handled in the midst of the new baby chaos. Said one doula, “The best thing I can do is to be quietly present. To take care of “things”, while mom is learning her new role.”

6.  Babywearing Support

Today's baby carrier market has skyrocketed since days of old and the choices can be stagger.  Your Postpartum Doula can help you navigate these choices, choose the carrier that is right for your family, discuss the important benefits of babywearing and train you in the different techniques used with today's popular carriers.



Both a birth doula and a postpartum doula are worth their weight in gold, and the support they provide is unlike any you’ll find anywhere else. If you’ve chosen to hire one, know that it’s money well spent so you can recover from birth and get to know your baby in peace and solitude.

Harmony at Home offers Postpartum Doula services in the greater Philadelphia area.  

Visit www.harmonyathome.net  for more information.